Nature is too 'Woke'.
Rightwing conversations I overheard in a bar, well several bars actually.
Woke means, more or less, being conscious of racial discrimination and other forms of oppression and injustice. At least this is what the ‘liberal left’ may contend.
The conservative right maintain that woke is an overrighteous liberalism and people who are woke follow an intolerant and moralising ideology.
Nature is profoundly woke. According to what I overheard.
Henry! our chihuhua is gay
“I read the other day that over 1,500 animal species engage in same-sex sexual behavior. You understand what this means? We are surrounded by animals in lesbian, gay, bi + relationships. Frankly I’m shocked, do you know that among bonobos, who share almost 99% of their DNA with us normal people, homosexual encounters are even more common than heterosexual ones? Our little doggy that we just welcomed back into our house has been out and about, who knows what he may have been up to?”
“Henry, I forbid you to take the grandchildren to the Zoo, it’s a seething den of wokism.
Our son won’t be staying there again.
“I went to pick up my son who stayed the night at a neighbours house. You’ll never guess what film they watched, Finding Nemo”
“My gosh did they? Have they no idea what that will do to our little boy? He’s at a very vulnerable age.
I must admit that I found myself trying to remember the film but unable to recall anything that could traumatise a child of 11 years old, then all was revealed.
“Don’t the neighbours realise that Neom is protandrous? That exposing our son to such blatant transgenderism could traumatise him? They are very sick people, that explains why the wife is out all night getting up to who knows what, probably changing her sex while she’s at it.”
“She’s a night cleaner.”
“Yes well, you know what they say about them! And that film should be banned”
I found myself thinking that it’s a good thing that this couple didn’t know that up to 5 percent of animal species are capable of switching sex. They’d probably buy more guns.
Landlord!
“I was woken up this morning around 5am by a ridiculous number of birds singing, what the hell are they doing that for?”
“Well you see, it’s springtime, they sing like that to attract a mates.”
“What are they doing around 7am when the singing is much less load?”
“Well you see, they’ve all found a mate.”
“Do you mean to say that all around us at the moment thousand of birds are at it like chopsticks?”
“I’m not familiar with that expression but from context …. Yup”
“I want to check out, I’m not staying here with all that going on, a bird came and perched on my breakfast table yesterday, I feel quite sick now thinking about it. Someone should turn a gun on them.”
Peahen or what?
“We went on a bird study walk and came across some Peacocks doing their thing with their tail feathers. Do you know that it’s the boy Peacocks that have all the fancy feathers and stuff, not the females as it should be?”
“Female Peacocks are called Peahens you know.”
“Yes well whatever, if the boy Peacocks dressing up like drag queens wasn’t enough there was a pretty tatty one with them. Do you know what? This will shock you! The tatty one was an older girl Peacock who had gone bad and had grown boy Peacock feathers. It’s a sick world where boy Peacocks dress up like that when it should be the girl ones and the older girl Peacocks become transvestites.”
Flowers?
“My girlfriend gave me a bunch of flowers for my birthday, she is sooo sweet!”
“Flowers? Do you know what they are?”
“Pretty?”
“Yes maybe but actually they’re a reproductive structure and yours have probably been pollinated quite a few times.”
“I’m sorry but are you suggesting that my girlfriend amputated some plants’ rude bits and gave them to me?”
“Yup. Consider yourself lucky that we use plants and not animals”
Immigration,
“You have to read it to believe it but some animals are presistent recurrent imigrators. Each year they come swaning in from wherever they go to, they cross over borders with total impunity eat our food, crap everywhere and then head off as soon as it gets a bit chilly!”
“That all sounds similar to wealthy people and influencers.”
“But at least those people pay taxes.”
“No, they don’t actually pay many taxes, it’s best they don’t then some of the wealth they produce trickles down to us.”
“You know that other animals and plants migrate in and stay, pushing out our proper native species and taking over. No controls, no limits, they just come flooding in? I’m going to write to the President.”
Graffiti discussion in toilet
Racism is natural, dogs hate cats
Dogs and cats r different species, racism is a social construct with no scientifique basis
nature is wrong then and we are right.
The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat.
Thats disgusting
It’s from the Bible you heathen
You expect me to believe that the Bbile is woke FU
Call this number for free sex *******
”I read the other day that we’ve got a 2nd brain and it’s down in our guts and it’s run by bacteria, and the bacteria spend their time telling us what to do.”
“No way! I didn’t know you had a first brain.”
“Sod off! Them bacteria tells us what we can and can’t eat and drink and when to go to bed and shit like that.”
“You mean I got a whole cancel culture inside me in my guts?”
“Yes indeed, I’m sorted now I took loadsa antibiotics to kill them off, no more cancel culture for me, eat what I like, drink what I like and go to bed when I want. I’ve learnt what explosive diahorrea is though.”
It’s amazing what you can learn while listening to other people’s conversations in a bar, I didn’t know that about Peahens. Then again I had to listen to a lot of old pony before I learnt that.
I’ve stopped my experiment with rightwing bars now after hearing a discussion between a racist and the barperson about whether it was OK for him, the racist, to drink Coke (which is dark in colour) rather than Sprite (which is light coloured). I went over and suggested that he drink Fanta (which is orange coloured) as he is a fanatical supporter of an ex USA President. Laugh!!! No not really, which is why I left, quickly.